My Nomad Journey – Weeks 18-22

Wow! It’s been a while since I’ve posted. For a few reasons. First, I’ve been BUSY! Between work projects and dealing with some unplanned and unpleasant surprises, I’ve had my hands full this past month. There have been a few trips and explorations, but much of my focus and energy has been spent on my clients, getting some new projects started and a whole lot of problem-solving. I’m also prone to worry, so I’ve been indulging in a whole lot of that lately, as well.

Read on for this month’s updates and I’ll try to be better about checking in a little sooner. I will admit, I carry a lot of resistance to making the time to sit and write. This process has been MUCH different than I anticipated. Where I once envisioned myself sitting in coffee shops and parks just writing with delight… I generally procrastinate, then put pressure on myself, then finally force myself to sit down and bang it out. Two hours later, I’ve finally finished another post. It’s not that I don’t want to post or that I don’t enjoy having it done. It’s more that it takes more work than I expect and I carry some hidden blocks about this process in general. I think part of it is the social media aspect of it. The pressure to perform (self-imposed, mind you). And the sense, sometimes, that if I don’t have much to report, that it’s not interesting. On the flip side, if I have interesting stuff to report, then it will take me forever to report it all!!!

Here we go…

Here’s what I did:

At the beginning of the month, I traveled to Las Vegas to teach a class for a client. I really enjoy working with this client and teaching these programs. We always get to work with interesting people from all over the country and the conversations that we facilitate are always powerful. I love that we are talking about respect in the workplace and treating people like human beings. While in Vegas, I didn’t make any plans. I’ve been there before and it’s not really a place for me anymore. I don’t gamble, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I don’t eat large, expensive meals anymore. I prefer being outdoors. So when I had any free time, instead of finding me in the casinos or shows, I was just out walking on the sidewalks and looking for a reasonably-priced meal that regular folks would eat. However, some colleagues did treat me to dinner a few nights. One was a plant-based restaurant that was intentionally upscale in order to change negative perceptions about vegan “fine dining”. They didn’t disappoint. The food was wonderful and the experience was similar to upscale steakhouses. What a nice time with these colleagues over some unique plant-based dishes. Another night we started on a mission to find a good Mexican restaurant. But when it turned out that the restaurant was inside of a strip club, we hit the gas pedal and kept going. 😁😁😁 Instead we went to a local place that had been in Las Vegas for years. A retro diner vibe with a tiki club decor. The food was basic, but huge portions and velour booths and plastic trees and all kinds of vintage appeal. Fun to comment with my colleagues about the place. I walked back to the hotel in order to work off the food. I caught an early trip back to Atlanta and passed on the opportunity to stay a few extra days. Aside from possibly going outside the city to explore, there wasn’t much more there that I was eager to see.

For the next week, I was petsitting for my friend in Atlanta. The dog and I took care of chores around the house, lived a pretty domestic routine for the week and took advantage of the weather to get out and go for walks. There is a nature trail that runs through the middle of this neighborhood. This whole area north of Atlanta is all forest, as we are between metropolitan Atlanta and where the Smoky mountains begin to form to the north. All of these neighborhoods and developments are carved out of forests. So between the rows of houses here, behind the back yards, is a strip of forest that was not usable for the developers (I’m glad!). Instead there is a stream and a walking path among the trees, so I like taking the dog through that trail and wearing ourselves out on the climbs and hills and such. She’s gotten to enjoy it so much that she now refuses to walk anywhere else in the neighborhood, which is becoming a problem! LOL Also during this week, I began some new client projects and started teaching some new virtual classes that are broken up over a period of 10 weeks. This has kept me busy and “on camera” with a regular teaching schedule for a while.

Let’s talk about some stressors on my nomad journey. I haven’t revealed that I got a speeding ticket back in March, when I was driving from Savannah to Atlanta. No need to get into the details, other than to say that it was entirely on me. I’m responsible and it was a particularly stupid situation on my part that involved passing someone who was driving slow in the fast lane. No one was harmed, but my impatience has, and continues to, cost me dearly. The ticket was an expensive one and I have been really down on myself for making such a stupid decision. After $1,000 of fines, fees, penalties and mitigation efforts, the ticket is now closed. BUT… the take-away is that I have been even more vigilant than normal about making sure I’m driving the speed limits. I use my cruise control a lot more, I watch for the posted speed limits, I look for the speed limit on the nav screens, etc. etc. I’m putting a lot of focus on driving mindfully and that has a lot of other drivers being pissed at me and either tailgating or passing me. Sorry folks, I can’t afford to be in a hurry! I hope YOU can afford your speeding ticket more than I can!!! Anyway, this unplanned expense was a very unnecessary setback on a tight budget and I still beat myself up about it. Especially after what comes next.

Mid-month, I took a road trip to explore some new areas. Although I drove through southern Alabama on the way into Atlanta back in December, I’ve never really been to most of Alabama, and particularly never been to Birmingham. So I booked an aparthotel in downtown Birmingham, with the intention to explore the city and make some short day trips to visit Huntsville to the north and possibly any other destination that might draw me. This turned out to be a very interesting trip and the beginning of some more stressors on this journey. On the route to Birmingham, I planned a stop at Cheaha State Park in the eastern part of the state. This park has the tallest mountain in Alabama and you can literally park at the top and walk to the edge. While this mountain (about 3,000++ feet) isn’t as high as what you might see in the western US, it rises above the hilly landscape and creates a dramatic set of views. It is also a green mountain, covered with trees and pine cones and lots of beauty. I walked some of the trails, went out on one of the overlook/observation rocks and just enjoyed some nature, beauty and distraction from the grind of daily life. While it was windy and chilly out, I thoroughly enjoyed the views and the heights and just being out and away. It was a really special moment, until… When leaving, due to the weird configuration of the parking lot, I backed into someone else’s car. No one hurt and damages were mostly minor – cosmetic that requires insurance to fix. We traded information, I called the insurance company, etc. etc. etc. To make a long story short, it was another “what the fuck have I done to myself again???” moment and another $1,000 for deductible to cover the costs. Again – unplanned and preventable. Now, I was feeling pretty damned heavy in my heart and head when I left this park and continued to Birmingham. At my next bathroom stop, I checked my emails to get the final report from my tax person on how much I owed in taxes. (Did I mention that this was April 15th?) Surprise!!!! You owe… over $6,000! Deep breath… And again…. So in just under 30 days, I’ve added about $8,000 in expenses to my already tight budget and at this moment, I’m just about fucking over it all. But I will acknowledge that I’m certainly not alone when it comes to dealing with life in the US right now. (And certainly there are MANY who have it worse right now and who have had it worse for many years/centuries in the past!).

Let’s continue about Birmingham and Alabama. I arrived in downtown and was excited to spend a few days in a downtown area, walking and exploring when I had free time between work projects. The rental was in an apartment building right in the center of the downtown grid. Check-in was all digital and not until 5pm. I ended up exploring a while and eating dinner before checking into the studio apartment. However, when I finally walked in, it had never been cleaned and reset from the prior guest! Beds used, towels used, dirty dishes, etc. etc. I contacted the host and turns out they couldn’t get anyone there to clean. So after some time of the agent contacting the host and back and forth, the answer was to move to a different (smaller, darker) unit or refund my money and try to find someplace else. I opted for the smaller unit, grateful that I wouldn’t have to go hunting or pay more money someplace else. However I was disappointed that I had less light and space than I would have had. I also figured that a poor person can’t complain and practiced gratitude for having a safe, comfy place to stay. One side note, I really hate this new construction that has taken over apartment developments. Galley floor plans, concrete floors with vinyl, kitchen is one wall of the living space and only one window at the end of the whole “bowling alley” of it all. Designed purely for profit and not for human experience. I can’t imagine paying $2,000/month for a long-term rental in that place. No light and lots of poor design decisions. I finally got settled in for the night and walked across the street to the grocery store for a few things to have on hand. Then I soaked in the bath tub and read a book for a while.

The rest of the Alabama trip was nice. I’m so grateful for the ability to do work, then walk out my door for personal things, then back to do more work. I’m so grateful I don’t have to sit in one place for a “shift” and that I can have an impact while doing project-based work. It’s a privilege, I know. I sure don’t do it to get rich! But I’m rich in so many ways that aren’t just about money. When not working or teaching online, I explored all the corners of downtown Birmingham. I visited some museums and parks, saw their new developments around the ballpark and central downtown, and I explored some of the older areas and historic architecture. Most notable was my visit to the Civil Rights Institute, where I learned about the history of racism and violence that Alabama and Birmingham are reckoning with. I never knew that Birmingham (as a US city/town) didn’t exist during the times of slavery or during the Civil War. The city was literally founded (taken from indigenous people) and built for the purpose of capitalism just before the turn of the century. But as a city that was birthed during Reconstruction and Jim Crow, it caught up quickly with the violence, racism and hatred toward black people that was so prevalent in the south. Still is, frankly. However in central Birmingham, I saw people from all backgrounds, cultures and histories walking the streets and enjoying the spaces. As an outsider, I would like to believe that there is hope and that Birmingham will continue to grow in ways that encourages all kinds of people to live there.

The last day of my stay in Alabama, I drove up to Huntsville in the north of the state. A smaller city, it has some charm and history that makes for interesting sights. The central city is growing and there are massive public spaces, new apartments and developments and entertainment venues built next to historic neighborhoods and centers. I walked around the town and had lunch at a local Mexican restaurant, before heading back to Birmingham for the last night. Before leaving town, I stopped at the gym to get a workout in. I’ve been really consistent with keeping up my workouts. They make me feel better. Overall, what I experienced in Alabama was lots of natural beauty in the trees, hills and mother nature elements. Most folks I talked to or saw along the way were friendly and kept to themselves. I was fortunate not to experience any of the stereotypes or negative tropes that are often associated with this state. I’ll speak more about that below. It’s likely because I didn’t immerse myself in a wide variety of neighborhoods and different places, so I’ll acknowledge that. And yes, I saw lots of political statements in the form of signs and banners in people’s yards. I saw lots of racist symbols in various places. Plenty of reminders of the history in this region, which included the swastikas on the stones of the courthouse, placed there in the early 1900s when the building was built. I know there are many stories that I didn’t see and that there are plenty of people who have different lived experiences there.

Back in Atlanta, it was back to work and also helping my friend out with some major projects around the house. I love it when there are things that I can do very easily that have such a huge impact for someone else. Organizing, sorting and cleaning out are specialties of mine. So tackling a basement clean out was a “fun Saturday” for me, but would have been a huge misery to her. There were other projects we worked on and it felt good to help her accomplish some goals around the house. I continued to deal with the repercussions of my ticket and accident, dealing with the logistics, payments, scheduling and all the things that come from cleaning up those messes. Also was the shell game of reworking finances and plans to figure out how to pay for all of these things. Not fun and, I’ll admit, among the things that cause me the greatest stress and grief in my life! I can become emotionally paralyzed when it comes to insecurity around money. There’s so much more I can say, but will reserve the intimate details. I also did some more petsitting while my friend traveled for work. And, I began looking forward and starting to take care of logistics and plans for my upcoming return to the road.

Here’s what I learned:

As with the last few posts, this past month has been pretty domestic. I’m so appreciative of the time I’ve been able to spend with my friend. We have become more and more family, which is what we’ve called each other for a long time. It’s been fun to “play roommate” for a few months and to take care of things for each other. Time on the porch with drinks and conversation. Little things like “what shall we make for dinner?” or “I’ll grab your dry cleaning for you” are nice. I’ve so appreciated the ability to settle for a while, as I’ve taken care of some of my busiest work months.

While talking to Linda at the dry cleaners today, she asked me how people have treated me along the journey. I told her that the vast majority of what I’ve experienced so far has been regular people, doing everyday things, treating me with respect and being focused on living their normal lives. I had a lot of assumptions about how people might act in different parts of the country, and what I’ve been lucky to experience is that most folks I’ve encountered are “normal” and far from what I see on social media. Maybe it’s me? Maybe it’s how I approach them? Maybe it’s because I’m a white dude in the United States? Maybe it’s more? I don’t know. I’ve seen plenty of “signs” and “signals” along the way about what people believe in or stand for, from religion to politics to beliefs. But in my encounters, I’ve not been attacked, mistreated or otherwise treated negatively. Linda has lived in Georgia for almost 20 years and was born and raised in Indonesia. We talked about the current state of things in the country and where we are headed as a society. As I continue to reflect on what’s ailing us, I continue to land on how great of a divide there is in empathy among us, as a people here. We have been so trained for the last 100 years to prioritize self, over others. Rugged individualism. Entitlement. Manifest destiny. Supremacy. Etc. What I find is that when people put even just a little effort into thinking about what life is like for others, with even a little attempt to relate, appreciate or understand, that it changes how we prioritize. We have been so indoctrinated to place self preservation, self comfort and self indulgence above all other things, that it’s no wonder why we constantly make decisions that ultimately harm us in the end. I’m certainly on a journey to deconstruct my own versions of comfort and explore my empathy even deeper than I already have. While collectivist societies/cultures around the world may not be as financially wealthy as our individualistic society/culture, they have greater happiness, more support and fewer worries and fears. I hope that someday we will find ourselves coming together and putting energy into taking care of us as a “we” and reduce our dependence (addiction) to taking care of ONLY “me”. Linda was commenting on her experience with being a southerner and all of the charm, kindness, friendliness. Being used to this, she was surprised by what people were like when she recently visited NYC. As with many people, she perceived the behaviors as rude and hostile. I explained to her that it’s just a different culture. They prioritize directness and being to the point. Niceties are not as important to them. And yet, if she fell on the street, they would pick her up and help her out just the same as any southerner might. That’s been my experience. I also reminded her that this kind/polite veneer among southerners was sometimes just a mask and they can talk against you behind your back. (I grew up in Texas – I know! I’ve been that person, too.)

Lastly, I’ll say more about comfort. I’ve been made very comfortable staying with my friend in Atlanta. I so appreciate that. I sometimes spend time thinking about what kind of environment I might want when I settle back down in one place again. I take mental notes from every place that I stay and imagine this layout or that setup or those details or this location or that one. I’ve had thoughts that range from apartments similar to what I’m used to, to possibly mobile life in a camper or van, a tiny house, or maybe just being a roommate with some friends and only maintaining a bedroom. Too soon to decide at this point, but I notice how back-and-forth I can go with thinking about the future and what my living situation will be when I do. I don’t know. It it often unsettling as I think about what it will take to make this decision at some point. But I’m spending a lot of time practicing letting go of future decisions and just staying in the moment. Between uncertainty over the future and matters of finance in this crazy, inflated economic system we live in, I travel with much doubt and sometimes fear. Yet… I keep looking forward, picking destinations, and just… going. Among the things I am grateful for is also that feeling I get when I’m on the open road and just moving. So while I have lots of really deep moments in my head and sometimes really bleak thoughts about where things are going for us as a people, I also keep showing up. I show up for my clients. I show up for my body at the gym. I show up for my mind as much as I can muster. And I show up for my friends when I’m able.

I guess what I’m saying here is that being a nomad is SO MUCH MORE than where I go in my car or travels, it’s also a LOT about where I go in my head, my thoughts and my soul.

Here’s what’s next:

I’ve got another week or two left in Atlanta with continued client commitments and some more projects around her house.

In mid-May, I will drive to New Jersey to connect with some folks there. 

From NJ, I will fly back to Sacramento for a week to teach a class, attend to some business, and handle a few doctor appointments, etc.

Back in NJ, I will connect with some folks in New York.

In late June, I will fly to Miami for a client engagement, then back.

In late June/early July, I plan to drive to Maine, through Vermont, New Hampshire, etc. I’ve never been through these states and hope to spend a little time traveling and exploring. I’ll look for affordable ways to do this without paying the equivalent of a few months’ rent!!!

Between July and August, I plan to drive my way back to Sacramento, with some stops in Ohio, Illinois, the Dakotas and other middle/western states. I’ll also fly back south again for another client engagement.

I’ll keep you updated on changes and what happens after August.

This post has been delayed for too long, so I had much more to share than I expected. I also shared more thoughts than I had planned, too. I hope this post finds you well and that you are also exploring your own place in things right now. These are scary times for many people. And I believe there is opportunity, as well. We’ve seen so many people go through so much worse and find ways to rebound, recover and thrive. I believe we can do the same. But I also believe we have some hard lessons to learn first and that we are going to have to make some significant changes as a people before we can “have nice things” again. I’m sending you my best and will see you again in a future post!

As always, please interact with this post. I love getting your questions, your thoughts, and your comments. I’ll reply when I’m able.

Please enjoy yourselves in this week ahead and look for another update from me about the adventures of the journey. Be well my friends!

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